Electronic Christmas Letter

I thought it might be useful to some of you to have a family update as it seems that we are in a period of changes for us all.

We are looking forward to two more grandchildren in 2010 which is great.Miriam and Besi are expecting their first at the beginning of March and Peter and Ruth in the middle of April. Both are doing well and we have seen the scans -the blessings of technology!

I am currently off work, stepping back at the beginning of November when Dave was taken into hospital with pneumonia. I am grateful to have such a supportive and understanding set-up and am assured that my job will be waiting for my return when appropriate.

So our time here together at present proceeds at a sedate rate. The 'lull before the storm'. By that I mean that on December 19 we have a late night arrival of Ruth,Maki and Amelia as well as Steve ,who is chauffeuring from Gatwick with a friend from church ( because of their extra luggage). Then Dave's Mum is flying down from Edinburgh for a week. Peter and Ruth complete the party on 23/24th. So we will certainly have our home full.

Mim and Besi have commitments at home in Sukth so will not be able to complete the family, but we had a fortnight's visit from Miriam in November. Over the last few months they have been building their flat as an extension over Besi's parent's house - turning what was a single storey home into 2 storeys with the possibility of further accommodation in the roof space if needed in the future. They have been living out of boxes and suitcases since moving out of their Durres flat in the summer so are itching to be able to move upstairs and unpack and create their home in time for Mim to leave to come to England for the birth of the baby. Besi will follow arriving in time for the birth, we all hope. Besi works as the pastor of the small church in Sukth. Next year they are intending to build a church in the village so their own house was just a practice run for the larger project !!Besi also is employed by 'Mission without Borders', distributing aid and caring for a number of local families. Miriam has been teaching English in the village. The demand for these classes has grown and comes to a grand finale this Saturday with a carol Concert. This will mark the end to classes until she feels ready to take them on again post baby.

Ruth and Maki and Amelia are arriving next w/e for a prolonged stay for Maki to take up further studies at Bristol Baptist College (2-3yrs). They had already made the decision to come before we knew of Dave's illness so we are very grateful to God for the timing of their being here. They will stay with us initially then have use of a flat nearby for 6 months.They intend either or both getting jobs until college begins in September.

Stephen has been living and working in Worthing for the last 18 months. He has been involved in making simplified English programmes which are broadcast worldwide to suport the learning of English. He had begun to think about moving on when the new CEO of FEBA - his mission organization retuned the focus of the mission and made the decision to pull their involvement with the programme. So Steve's work with FEBA comes to an end at Christmas. As yet there is nothing on the horizon. Steve feels settled in Worthing especially in the church there and is loathe to uproot yet again. For January he will freelance for the American partners who are continuing with the progamme. This has the added advantage of being able to come to Bristol to work while 'chilling' with the family. However it would be good for a new job to be settled before long.

Peter and Ruth continue in the same house, same job, and same church (Peter now a deaacon) in North Baddesley Southampton. It's good that somebody in the family is consistent! They are very much looking forward to the birth of their baby in mid April. Peter works for an IT consultancy. At the beginning of the year they were affected by the recession but as the year wore on business seems to have improved and Peter also has some ideas of further possible developments. Ruth usually fills her days with many and varied studies and voluntary work. She has had to lay some of these aside as the pregnancy drained much of her energy - this is improving now.

So many changes. So many unknowns.

So much to thank God for.

Am I brave?

Saw our consultant oncologist on Wednesday, where she repeated her offer of extra aggressive treatment, high on side effects, but probably low on benefits. She backed our decision to decline. As I said to her, the prospect of heaven was more appealing than even one of my more agreeable days here on planet earth.Her comment, 'You're very brave'.

Am I? I don't think so.Bravery would be making such a decision without knowing one's destination. For the Christian, my status for the last 46 years, Heaven is the reality that Jesus spoke of "There is plenty of room for you in my Father's home. If that weren't so, would I have told you that I'm on my way to get a room ready for you?"

As St Paul said elsewhere 'If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are to be pitied more than all men. The Christian life is an exchange. I surrender control of my life to Jesus and in return receive His eternal life...that speaks of quality of life down here and continuance of life in the here after. So death is but a station on the time-space continuum.

My attitude to death is not the product of positive thinking, or the outworking of 'que sera, sera'. It is deeply rooted in the certainty and hope that comes through knowing Jesus as friend and Lord.

The important message in all of this...DO NOT ENTER THE BOX UNLESS YOUR EXIT IS CLEAR

Views into the next valley

An eventful few days, but we got back from hospital last night, armed with a bag of drugs. One of which was dexamethosol, the wonder steroid that got me back from Albania a month ago. And when I awoke at midnight I could already feel its effects - similar to a caffeine rush, hence my waking dream of running a cross-country race through marshy ground - 24 hours previously could only have dreamt of lying on marshy ground and slowly sinking.

Humanly speaking, our news is as bad as it could be. The cancer has returned quite aggressively, has spread to an adrenal gland as well as enlarging in existing sites - hence my weariness over recent months. There is further treatment possible, but with significant side effects, and potential of septicaemia, and hence earlier death. We have left the decision until a further consultation in two weeks time - agreed Tuesday with consultant that my body in no fit state to take extra punishment at present. The debilitating effects of the pneumonia would last two more weeks in a healthy person. Her prognisis is six months maximum, but clearly she has no way of gauging how fast the cancer will progress.

But we want you to hear this in the same context that we did. The only bed space in the hospital on Friday night was in the new Bristol Heart Institute, despite me being in a medical patient category. Ward 53, large with four beds only, mine against the 20' plate glass window looking out onto autumn coloured embankment and trees. Oh the grace of God.

Sunday a.m. I heard my neighbour (82 yr old heart patient) humming the baseline to the Remembrance Day hymns. I enquired of him if he had been part of a church choir, but he was not to be drawn. Later spotted a leather bound, yapp edged, gold leaf book by his bedside. Monday he was reading it, and I enquired if he was reading the "Good Book". Yes, he said, did I know it? I told him I'd read it cover to cover, something he could not claim, though he probably had, just not consecutively. Told me he was reading from the first book of Dr Luke (AV - did not get on with these modern versions). His visitor that day, clad in headscarf, pointed to 'exclusive brethren' beliefs - but one of His saints.

Monday night, some time after my sleeping pill had knocked me out a new (heart)patient took the other window bed opposite. Tuesday am we got chatting, and quickly established that he lived close to my place of work, and knew one of the ladies in my office since thay both attended the same church. Later that day, the new patient left to go home - he'd been moved up for the night from a ward two floors below. Another of the saints that surround us day by day.

(E-mail me on for more details of our conversations, or any other chat.)

So our sense of being in God's hands continues. Miriam is flying home this week-end for two weeks stay. It'll be good to be able to greet her upright loaded with steroids!!, rather than the horizontal view I presented when we visited her last month.

No Fireworks???

Dave may not have had fireworks on his birthday (Nov 5 ) but the next day made up for it.
He began the day compaining of a backache which we put down to him lying awkwardly then at about 1 o'clock this suddenly escalated to excruciating pain and a 999 call.
The emergency services were great as was the hospital care (and the morphine! was good too).
This was later diagnosed as pneumonia and with strong antibiotics Dave is recovering well and should hopefully be discharged Wednesday.
We see the oncology specialist on Tuesday so will blog again when we have more to share.
Psalm 23 v4 Even when we walk through the dark valley of death ,we will not be afraid ,for you are close beside us. Emmanuel.

No fireworks

Sorry to those of you who rely on these pages for progress reports. Maybe that's the whole thing - we see little progress, and my daily energy levels mean little time at the PC. So there's nothing actually to report today, other than a guilt complex!!

We rounded off Albania with a tummy bug on the day of our return flight which merely doubled my sense of exhaustion - Maki called out the doctor, and I discovered the wonderful effect of intravenous steroids - put me on an energy high for the next 36 hours. Am told such is not approved NHS procedure, but was thankful for it at the time - the Albania leg proved something of a physical endurance test at times, great as it was to see the girls, and to see Amelia progress from one step to eleven!!

Elaine had been signed off with stress just prior to our departure, but returned to work two weeks after our return. We see the consultant next week for the results of my first quarterly scan - a "no change" report will reassure her that this tiredness is just normal post-chemo reaction, and not the return of cancer symptoms.

So we live from day to day, enjoying those days when energy enables the occasional outing, and visits from friends that bring colour to day-to-day living. Will post again (promise) once seen consultant. Light a firework (or 58) for me on Thursday!! Dave

Postcard from Albania

Writing from hot and sunny Albania. We are having a very lazy time. Dave has not found renewed energy as we had hoped but we are glad to be able to see both the girls and their families. We had a slow start last week as Mim had a tummy bug for 3 days which was a bit worrying but she and baby are all ok now.


We have been staying with Ruth and Maki this week but tomorrow we intend going out to Sukth to stay with Mim and Besi and family. It is exciting to see the house progressing and the roof tiles are due to go on this week. The internal walls are now all plastered - soon it will be wall and floor tile choosing time very exciting!

Besi spends his time on the roof working full tilt before a possible change in the weather. as well as this he has to fit in buying materials, preaching and pastoral work and delivering stuff for 'Mission without borders"


Ruth and Maki have also had the builders in and painters with great improvements. All must be sorted before they leave in December. Amelia entertains and is delightful -very vocal in her own language. She looks on the brink of taking her first unaided steps - will she perform this feat before Granny and Grandad leave ?

Think that's all the news for now will write more fully when we return to UK.

...who only stand and wait

It's now the 3rd week since our relaxing time in Austria, and two weeks to our next trip to Albania. Sorry for lack of updates - I've found tiredness reluctant to relax its grip, and sit now at the computer knowing that before an hour is up, my body and mind will be craving the horizontal.

To catch up - the heavy rain forecast for Grossglockner did not materialise, and the first hour of that day glorious sunshine and high snow covered peaks as the coach wound its way up many hairpins to 2500 metres. Crossing the col into the next valley took us into cloud, and later some light rain. The visitor centre overlooking the cloud shrouded peaks did not appeal, so we took the funicular (250') and path (250') down to the Pasterze glacier below, every 50 vertical feet of the path marking 10 years retreat of the glacier. The tour guide had warned everyone against the glacier trip (you might break you leg!), but then I was the only one on the coach with mountain poles as both crutches and reminders of former exploits. The following day we walked for 40 minutes by the Achensee in glorious sunshine, and the day after visited a major waterfall.

The last two days we gently explored the centres of Salzburg and Munich. A holiday marked by God's favour especially re the weather, and sufficient strength to make each day worthwhile, although some of the early starts (8.30) I did find taxing. And we were able to smooth the stress of air travel by ordering a wheelchair at the airports - not only avoided standing for long periods, but gave (unwarranted) priority through customs etc. Though one did feel a little Matt Lucas like getting out of the wheelchair to walk through the metal scanner!

And so to the present, where we find ourselves a little wearied over the last few days. No dramas or crises, just a sapping of emotional strength. I guess its like the airport queues - I can cope at the airport provided I am walking with a stick - its the standing still that takes it out of me. And maybe that's how these last few weeks have felt - standing still - where we had expected to be making ground.

Paul speaks of the putting on the whole armour of God, "so that you may be able to stand". As that passage says in conclusion, "with this in mind keep on praying..." We thank you.