Shadow of the Almighty

The title of Jim Elliot's biography from which I have quoted in the right margin (and read at least 3 times in my teens), the words taken from Psalm 91 v 1.
"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty"
Mike McAllister read that Psalm to me shortly after I was first diagnosed with cancer, and it resonated in particular because of that opening verse.
During this past week of prayer, Sue Woolnough drew the same Psalm to my attention, but quoting it's final 3 verses in particular. The final verse reads
"With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation"
As I said to those gathered for prayer on Sunday evening, my attitude through all this time has been; 'Lord, I look back over a fulfilled and satisfying life, if you take me now, I have no regrets, no unfulfilled dreams'. But that verse has said something more to me - that God's idea of satisfaction is long life, and I should not downgrade my expectations.
And I guess that's how Elaine and I look back on last week. With a sense of the continued hand of God upon our lives, with personal touches that spoke of his intricate care and blessing. With thankfulness for friends who have drawn near to God's throne on our behalf. With a sense that this was a significant stepping stone on our journey.
Today was chemo round 8, my blood count apparently good, but I have begun to have numbness in my feet and legs over the past few days which is a chemo side effect. Also the tiredness extended right through to yesterday, bringing much closer the day when I say to Bristol City Council. "you'll have to do without my services until chemo finishes at the end of June." We enjoyed a day together in the Cotswolds last Friday, and Elaine has next week off, so we hope to get away for a few days, not least to visit Stephen in Worthing, to see his new flat, and meet the church which has become his true home. The large pituitary tumour with which he was diagnosed a year ago has shrunk significantly in response to weekly tablets, but the sight deterioration in one eye caused by the crushing of the optic nerve has yet to really reverse. Do pray for restoration there.
Our love to you.

Pushing through

Two stories have constrasted in my mind in recent weeks. Lying down exhausted brings to mind the four men who brought their paralysed friend to Jesus. He apparently helpless, lying on his mat, while they took off the roof-tiles in order to place their friend at Jesus' feet. They pushed through the roof, they pushed past the religious leaders gathered around Jesus, and Jesus "when he saw their faith" brought forgiveness and healing to their friend. (Luke 5)

Contrast the woman of Luke 8, again chronically ill for the past 12 years. She came to find Jesus, but found him surrounded by a crowd, and clearly on his way with a religious leader (Jairus) to a specific destination. But she pressed through despite it all to be at his feet, and touch the hem of his garment. Her reward, "Woman, your faith has made you well, go in peace."

These stories maybe summarise for me what this next week of prayer is about - it is about pushing through to Jesus' feet. Whether you do it for yourself, or a friend. It is about saying that I will not be held back by the obstacles of crowd (busyness) or roof-tiles (previous barriers), but I will push through in order to see life change. I do not know what that looks like (sorry Geraldine!!), but pray that as we make ourselves available to God, he will reveal his ways to us both individually and collectively.

Chemo 7 took place Wednesday, so coming week potentially one of tiredness. Toothache thankfully ceased, and jabs gradually dealing with the breathlessness. It's also "final accounts" week at work, but things currently on track. We'll probably start the week in Fleet helping to sort Elaine's Dad's affairs and effects. Our love and thanks again to all.

Faith comes by hearing.

I am conscious that in this blog I have maybe skirted the basics. But as the church approaches a week of prayer and fasting for me 20th to 26th April, I need to render your prayers intelligent. On Friday December 18th, the consultant told me that scans showed bowel cancer that had spread (metastasis) as secondaries to the liver. She offered 6 months chemotherapy, and the 'promise' of 1 to 3 years life beyond that in remission, prior to a couple of months terminal decline when the cancer returned. No certainties, no guarantees, except death.

I had wanted to give my twin brother the news that week-end, but conscious of his involvement in pre-christmas family get-togethers, agreed to ring him on the Monday. The Sunday evening, before my call, the church that often meets in their home were gathered for prayer and worship. One lady present, had the continuing urge throughout the evening from God "Tell them the story". But she argued, "it doesn't fit in with the theme of what every one else is saying - it would be out of place". And she kept silent. Ten days later when Ian told her my news, she told him the story that God had urged her to share that evening.

She had had a boyfriend in the past, but the relationship had split apart. She met him in the street some years later, and his health was very evidently in decline - he had the outward jaundiced symptoms of a man diagnosed with terminal cancer, and given months to live. She encouraged him to attend with her a church in Dorset which had seen God move in many miraculous healings. As a result, he was miraculously healed by God - the cancer disappeared from his body.

So my brother, what do you hear? My story of Monday morning, giving a consultant's view that brings despair. Or God's story of Sunday evening, that brings hope and faith. Often our prayer is the product of our hearts desire. And Jesus commended the prayer of a woman who knocked persistently for her needs until they were met. Maybe she did so knowing that a seed of faith had been planted in her heart, and she was going to water it until she saw the fruit.

Today's scan results showed that the cancer has retreated in response to the treatment, but flagged up some thrombosis on the lungs, which explains the breathlessness that I had felt this past week. Apparently a side effect of the cancer and/or the treatment - outcome daily injections of an anti-bloodclot drug - a permanent regime.

Much of this blog has been about the common place, the daily grist of life - and yes my tooth is still nagging. And we thank you for the prayers that have supported us through that. May God lead us as we face up to the bigger issues in this week of prayer and fasting.

Wot - no e-mail

Since 7th April, our e-mail account has become unconscious, possibly due to the parlous state of Tiscali's finances - we've paid them our bit!! - but they seem to be heading for receivership. So if you've had a bounce-back on "screaming.net", try us on davidmyerscough a.t rocketmail d.o.t c.o.m. (This in code to avoid spammer robots). Hopefully our old address will revive in due course.

Been fairly tired this week, not helped by tooth abcess, which has put me back on the same antibiotics that blew up my intestines a couple of months ago. Half dose this time, and so thankfully disturbance not so dramatic, with copious consumption of live yoghurt. I fear Elaine has found the abcess far more stressful than I - her empathy is too well informed.

Wonderful lines from a film ('Shall we Dance') we watched last night.

"We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet... I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness"'

I'm thankful for you, my 'cloud of witnesses' - pray for continued strength for Elaine, my key witness.

Why Albania?

A question on the lips of many (including ourselves) as they have watched our two daughters marry Albanians engaged in God's work in that country. The natural explanation, that Ruth went to work there for six weeks in summer 2001 on children's camps, and returned one year later to a full time role, that involved camp work in the summers, and marriage to Maki, the camp commandant late 2005. And Miriam naturally followed her sister's lead in helping at those camps from summer 2005, met Besmir the camp "fixer", and Maki's right hand man, and recognised God's partner for her, leading to their marriage late 2008.

Unknown to both of them, there was another dynamic at work.

In November 1999, shortly after we had linked up with Cairns Road Baptist Church, the death was announced one Sunday morning of a young American missionary working in Tirana, Albania. He and his wife, an Albanian, were known to the church, tho' not to me, nor did I at the time have much clue about Albania. But something resonated that morning as I sat on the back row, hearing such news. The very principle of scripture that out of death comes resurrection, whether the death of a corn of wheat in Christ's parable, or His own death that has brought life to millions. And so I stood and prayed out, reminding God of His principles, reminding God of His promises, and asking that in this American's place, Albanian young men would step our to work for God's kingdom in their own land. None of the rest of the family was there to hear the prayer, and while prayed passionately at the time, it did not linger in my own thinking.

About a year ago, as Elaine reflected with me on the issue of a second daughter marrying an Albanian, I admitted to her for the first time the strength that I had in this regard, knowing that I was seeing an unexpected answer to a prayer of nine years previous.

I shared the story with the two families on Miriam's wedding day last November, and with some of our church members shortly thereafter. I am conscious of the words spoken of Mary, who having seen a heavenly vision "treasured these things in her heart". So forgive me if you feel that in going public I am overstepping. But if we are to talk of the power of one smooth stone, we need to remind ourselves that the God of David has not changed, and still is ready to act on behalf of those who step out naming His name.

We are not called to kill Goliath every day. And David was later to demonstrate that "acting in his name" was also about the care of Mephibosheth, the disabled grandson of one who had been his enemy. So if God calls you to mercy today then act. And if calls you to fight, He is the same God. Just choose your weapons carefully.

Medical update - still below par after two days of (dog)-tiredness, but mind and spirit in good shape. Due for CT scan this afternoon , to see effect of chemo to date. Results due next week.

The authority of the believer

When asked at elders meeting last week for my current reflections, I could do no more than quote this title of a booklet that has been on my shelf for the last 40 years, as evidenced by its two shilling price tag. It is a seed thought that sits on the surface of my mind at present, with echoes of Genesis, where Adam is given authority over the earth (subdue it), and more specifically of Jesus' issue of authority to his disciples in realms of binding and loosing, healing, evil spirits, and his final command "all authority has been given to me, go ye therefore".
The source of authority is well taught by the Roman Centurion who recognised that to be in authority, one had to be under authority. And Christ himself reminded the Roman Governor, Pilate, that "you would have no authority over me unless it was given you from above."
Our present age shies away from authority, for the fairly obvious reason that they do not wish to be under it themselves. But such thinking should not be allowed to infiltrate us as church. I am not denying the place for concensus (the place of unity where God commands the blessing; Psalm 133), but let us not be ever seeking that place and failing to act with God given (and not concensus given) authority, that comes from true submission.
Mike's sermon last Sunday was a powerful statement from the story of David and Goliath of the power of one smooth stone in God's name, not a hail of stones, nor a fight fought with the weapons of others, not one side or argument ranged against another. This David faces his Goliath, but we all have our own to face. Whose armour are we trusting in? Have we faced the lion and the bear in the hidden place guarding our own sheep, to be able to stand in the public place when God so calls us? I've got a story about one smooth stone, but I'll give you space to think of your own first. Dave